what happened on the office?
AnonymousPam and Jim got into a fight and Jim is being a douche and I just hate it right now.
Anonymous
Where did you get your glasses?
AnonymousZenni Optical! I don’t think they sell these specific ones any more, but it is a really great and super cheap way to get glasses provided that you have an up-to-date prescription.
I have like five pairs from them and it really is getting quite ridiculous no person needs this many glasses
How are you today?
AnonymousPretty good. I stayed home cos I felt kinda shitty so I sat around a lot today and then made a skirt and now I’m watching Golden Girls. how are you, anon?
you should make dresses!
AnonymousI do! If you mean to sell, I’ve thought about it but I’m so afraid that a dress wouldn’t fit someone right! IDK, I have thought of one type of dress that I could make to sell that would fit a variety of body types, I just have to practice more on it and stuff. I’m getting there!
I love your blog and would appreciate some advice... what can I say to my fat boifriend when they fat-shame themselves? I'm very skinny and don't want to act like I know more about their fatness than they do. But it hurts me to see their internalized fatphobia, to hear them say they need to lose weight and see them eat less than me when we eat together. I love their body the way it is and want them to be happy and healthy at any size, and I want to be a good girlfriend. HALP.
AnonymousY’know I have been thinking about this message all day thinking of what advice to give you but I really can’t say anything for sure! I’ve never had a thin partner, so I can’t compare my own experience, and I’ve never given any thought to what I would want/need from a thin partner. So if any of my followers have better advice please feel free to message me! For now, I’ll just say some things I hope might be helpful.
- I’m glad you want to be mindful not to act like you know more than they do about their fatness. That’s important! However I don’t feel that it would be inappropriate for you to share some knowledge about fatness in a social context (how the negative ideas about fatness are a social construction, how being fat doesn’t automatically mean they’re unhealthy and how the conflation of these ideas is misinformation, etc). I think casually dropping information like that might be helpful.
- Be open with them, talk about how much you want them to love their body and be happy, and if they’re open to it, direct them to fat positive sources.
- Make sure that THEY know the things you are telling me! Make sure they know that you love and value their body not DESPITE its fatness, but including their fatness. Be conscious of the way you interact with them physically—make sure that their discomfort with their body isn’t causing you to feel uncomfortable with their body, even unconsciously. Fat people can usually tell the difference between being touched by someone that accepts their body and being touched by someone who doesn’t.
- So yeah, in general, make it clear how much you love and value them in their body! Ask if there’s anything you can do to make them feel better about their body.
- But maybe your boifriend is so caught up in their body hatred that nothing subtle will get through to them! And that might be really hard to accept, but there really does become a point where there is only so much you can do for someone until it’s just a matter of them being in a certain place that they have to work out at their own pace. I think it’s important when loving someone and/or being with someone who has body image, or other self-esteem issues, to let them know that you love them whether they love themselves or not. Tell them that you are patient and will be there for them regardless of where they are with their body image, that you will help them however they need you to help, and that while you’d like for them to be happy with themselves that they are still able to feel about themselves however and that you’ll still be there for them.
